


From the Beginning

by CatherineFox



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, Alternate Universe - No Werewolves, Amnesiac Derek Hale, Angst, M/M, POV First Person, Stiles' POV, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 05:43:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10507467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatherineFox/pseuds/CatherineFox
Summary: His eyes were cold and lifeless as he stared at me.“You have no idea who I am, do you?”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Exams are piling up and here I am writing! ^_^ Oh, what a joy.
> 
> I found a prompt which is the summary and I knew I had to go with amnesiac!Derek. I started the story yesterday, so it will most likely progress super slow. You have been warned. Also, this is unbetad, so ignore or point out mistakes. Tags will be added with each new chapter, but if you think I've missed a tag let me know and I'll add it. Title (accidentally) [borrowed](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtGjJVcrKQU).
> 
> All kudos and comments are welcomed! Criticize my writing, yell at me for being cruel to the boys and tell me to grab a book. I've tried it all myself, but maybe you will get a better response out of me ^_^  
> If you are reading this far, then enjoy this chapter!

His eyes were cold and lifeless as he stared at me.

“You have no idea who I am, do you?”

His voice was harsh as from when we first met and so piercing for my senses. I was unused to being addressed so by him, the severity of it only dawned on me as he said one word which shattered my heart. “No.”

Truth be told, I knew we would one day end this way. Well, not with him covered in bruises confined to a hospital bed without any recollection of me or our life together. But, him using the same affectionless tone – that, I knew. I only cannot explain how.

The ground under my feet thundered and weakness overtook me. However, before I could crumble to the floor, the door burst open and my startled gaze roamed there to lock with Laura’s questioning one. Her forehead was creased with concern and her eyes flickered towards the bed.

“Derek, oh thank goodness!” she exclaimed feverously, leaning over the bed and scooping him in an embrace.

Despite everything, a smile curved my lips. “I’ll leave you to it,” I declared to no one in particular and left them be, before Laura could protest over my departure. Lax and dejected, I stalked down the hallway for the closest coffee machine. I needed a distraction.

Laura found me not long after, considering. I couldn’t get a word out before she had her arms around me. I didn’t need her to speak in order to know Derek had told her. So, I cried. On her shoulder, I let out every tear I had pushed down since the accident.

“It’s not fair, Laura.” I wiped a sleeve over my face. “Just as we were about to..” I yelped.

“Sshhh, calm down! Breathe.” Her palms were soothing patterns on my back. “You don’t want to work yourself into a panic attack.”

“Did he,” I began. “Did he tell you what he remembers last?” I felt her stiffen against me. And, so my worst thoughts were confirmed. “Kate?”

“Yes.”

I pushed away from Laura and stood up. I could barely prevent myself from pacing. “While he was still happy with her?”

Her eyes were pleading me to not go on.

“Did he ask to see her?”

“Stiles, please.”

“So, he did then.” I took a moment to digest that, but it did not make it easier. There was the blunt pain in my chest, I had thought was gone, surfacing again; an ache over what Kate had done to Derek, what she had done to them. And, he didn’t remember any of it, which perhaps was for the best. If it came back to him one day, it would ruin him over again. He would be forced to start dealing once more. I’d rather he never remembered me again, if it meant spearing him. But, I had to know. “Did you tell him?”

“I didn’t know how. I thought you might –”

“No!” I cried out, then lowered my voice to the acceptable range. “I _cannot_. You and Cora and Talia should know best.”

“Stiles, you are the one who knows every detail.” She rose to her feet, graceful as always, arms reaching towards me. “And, how he would take it.”

“No, I don’t. Because he is not the Derek I know.”

“Yes, he is.”

“No! And, I am sure he would much rather hear it from someone he loves, than from a stranger.” I gulped in a breath, biting my cheek until pain zinged through it, and stated, “I will go home to clean up. You should keep him company. I’ll try to be back in a couple of hours.” As an afterthought, I murmured, “If he asks.”

I cried when I got back to the apartment, from when I stepped foot inside until the moment I had to leave. When I returned to the hospital, Derek’s room was full. There was animate chatter and banter through and through, while I shuffled nervously on my feet all the way in the back, where he would not see me looking. Something was telling me it would be better if I merely left Derek with his family, but everything about me did not permit me do it. His eyes were crinkling as he spoke with his mum, and amusement danced in his eyes as he tracked the conversation from one person to the next.

Every day was the same. He was the Derek I knew, until his eyes would land on me. Then, he would close off – jaw prominent and eyes harsh. Being caught, I would sneak out of the room for a coffee break. I would only go back inside while he was sleeping. I would allow myself to believe it would be my Derek when he woke up. Except, I’d never stayed long enough for him to wake up, but the one time I did, I regretted it.

“Stiles, was it?” his hoarse voice took me away from my thoughts.

I nodded. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. Stronger.”

On their own volition, my lips curved. “Do you want me to get you anything?”

“I am good. Thank you.”

The first time since the accident, Derek’s voice was friendly. A peculiar whirl of hope blossomed in my chest, making me believe the first time we would make it work. I beamed at him, but he shifted his gaze towards the window.

“Please, don’t take this the wrong way. But, I would like for you to leave.”

“Okay, I’ll go and I’ll see you later, then?”

“No, I want you to not come back.” He looked directly at me then. “I don’t feel comfortable with you here. I just want to spend time with my family.”

The ground got swept from under my feet.

“Derek!” a reprimand came from the door.

“It’s alright, Talia. I understand.” I rose to my feet, ignoring the itch buzzing under my skin. Sweat was clinging on the inside of my palms, so I tried to wipe it away. It was of little use. Talia was inside the room and talking to Derek in a flash, but I couldn’t discern her words.

I kept retreating until I reached the doorway, and there I glanced at Derek. “Get better soon.”

Talia came after me, stopping me in the hallway, to let me know, “I’ll talk him around.”

The countless stories I’d heard of Derek’s stubbornness gave me little confidence of her success.

The building panic attack hit me the moment I closed the door of our apartment. I spent it staring at the picture of Derek embracing me, both of us grinning like fools at the camera, after our first date. I didn’t see the picture, more likely I only saw the emptiness of our apartment. Well, mine now.

As much as it pained me, the next day I didn’t go to the hospital. I wanted to, but I had to respect Derek’s wishes. It hurt staying in, knowing I couldn’t offer him the comfort I once did. I didn’t go the day after either. I spent my time watching movies, as I didn’t feel like working. One of the benefits of having your father as a boss was that he’d always understand. Since I felt horrible most of the time, I set on using that fact to my advantage. Something, I was sure the sheriff would note on upon my return. At the present he was my father first, hence all he did was reassure and comfort.

What I feared above everything was the night. The emptiness of our apartment during the day was tolerable if I employed myself enough to ignore it. Under the covers of our empty bed, I could hardly think of an excuse for the lack of presence against my back. No matter how much I tucked myself in, how many pillows I built in around me, my skin was still cold and in missing of his warmth. It is how I fell asleep, how I woke up. All alone.


End file.
